As I was scrolling through facebook a few days ago, I came across a post that moved me. Not in a good way either. It shook my heart & woke me up a bit. You see, I live in a small town. I have a big, welcoming family. A partner who loves me for all that I am. A son who admires me without hesitation. It is rare that I am approached with a negative remark or hateful action – I mean, I get the occasional look of road rage when a stranger doesn’t like my driving but for the most part, I remain quite naïve about the hate that still exists in this modern world… Simply because I have worked so hard to create a space around me where it won’t thrive…
Can we all agree that our media channels are full of opinions? It just so happens that it’s full of a lot of opinions on politics lately. Sure… in some ways, for good reason. But this isn’t really a political thing. So, don’t let me scare you away just yet…
It’s a filter thing. A an ignorance thing. A responsibility thing.
We’re reading articles about young children, OUR BABIES, repeating unbearable words of ignorance. We’re hearing stories from our children’s mouths of classmates who are fearful & confused about what is right or wrong. We are seeing status posts from angry mothers of young children who have been the target of racism.
I am hurt & so sad that there are people in the world who are able to hold such positions of power. Positions to simply control, manipulate & spread hate. People who in whatever way they can, want their voice to trickle down into the ears of our children & steer their innocent little hearts wrong.
I need to ask you for a favor, if you don’t mind?
Can we, as mothers, as a village, help hold each other accountable? I’m begging you, PLEASE?
Accountable for filtering our children from that hate & ignorance as much as humanly possible? To teach them about kindness, acceptance & love but to also be open minded? Now, before you think I want to stick my child in a bubble & lead him to believe that the real world is one big fairy tale & nothing bad ever happens… That if you give love, you will always be loved in return… That is not my intent because we all know darn well that isn’t the truth.
I will however try to find a balance of moderation amongst the madness. That’s a bit what it feels like to turn on the news or read some of the feeds lately. So, I choose not to watch the news. Instead, I choose only to seek reliable sources for the information I am after and limit my son’s ability to be exposed to the television or internet. I make a choice each day to seek out positivity, inspiration & motivation to uplift myself & in return uplift my child with light & love.
Besides, the TV & internet, can we take some responsibility for what comes out of our own mouths, eh???
I am NO saint. Far, far from it. I try my best to be kind. I judge out of my own flaws but always regret it. I acknowledge that when I am unkind, it more often than not, is my own shit – not theirs. I am learning every day to allow grace for when I fall short, as we all do.
But I just can’t imagine my child ever making another child feel; less than, not welcome, belittled or singled out because of something I said or did to make him think that it’s okay to do that. Because it NEVER will be.
I also do my best to protect our space from those who speak with hate in their words & intentions. And when it happens, I hope to in that moment, be brave enough to speak up. I owe it to my partner for filtering the word “hate” alone out of our home. Though flawed, we do our best to lead by example. Learning as we go – some lessons take longer than others – Like the one I wrote about my uncle “In the face of adversity | What is Religion?”
So, please mothers, let’s have grace on ourselves and each other. But let’s speak up when needed. With empathetic words, may we find a way to respectfully challenge each other’s views, opinions & voice of reason. Let’s find comfort in knowing that we all make mistakes & have the ability to learn from sharing them with each other without being shamed. Let’s not be afraid to spew showers of light & love around us so that others feel empowered to do the same.
Mothers, let’s speak openly of loving, supporting & accepting all of our brothers & sisters. Of the tribe mentality. Of the village who help raise our children. Of the rising of women empowering women. Of the people before us who challenged boundaries, rights & made progress. Of the trust we have in knowing that people will always be made of more good than bad. That our world is a beautiful place, full of beautiful people if we choose to see it & teach it.
Let them see us define love & in turn do the same.
Let us do our best to be accountable & take responsibility for what they see, hear & learn within our space. And when we no longer remain their only guide, let us remember that we will always be their most influential teacher.
My Plea,
Wow! Such a strong message!
Thank you! This was a scary one to post. I wasn’t sure how it would blow over but I took a leap of faith! Thank you for your comment. xoxo
Great message! Teaching love and acceptance is the only way things will change for the better!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Meredith – I couldn’t agree more! Feel free to share this post with your mama friends. xoxo
I believe you when you say this was a scary one to publish, but what an important message. I would so badly like to keep my children in a bubble…I fear to turn on the tv to try to catch the weather report, because I’m so afraid of what the kids will hear in the news! And I have told my kids since day one, the word hate is just not allowed even if it is only about their aspragus!
I have a weird love for asparagus so, I can see why that’s not allowed 😉
But I feel you mama. I usually look the weather up online as well as any reputable news sources. Definitely NO fox. My partner still likes to watch the news every once in a while & given that it’s a rarity, I try to just make sure our son isn’t in the room… What a shame we have to live with that fear! There should just be a local channel full of bloggers like us who share GOOD stuff. <3
Totally agree with this. Loved it
Thank you for your kind words! Maybe you know someone who would be impacted in a positive way by this message? If so, please consider sharing! xoxo
Great and important message. I try to teach my kids that when they encounter horrible things & horrible people (and they will), they should understand what’s wrong about what that person is doing & be sure not to duplicate it. You can’t change another person’s behavior, you can only change your reaction to it.
110% spot on. We equip them with the tools to navigate the outside world. If we have done our job even half right, we can only hope that they will stand confident in what they know is right when they encounter what is wrong. The shame is in the parents who don’t take the time to practice the use of their tools… Kids who have watched & learned that it is okay to hate & discriminate. It makes me wonder what life is like for those children & makes me so sad that they often don’t even know they are doing harm…
Love it. <3
Thank you for dropping by to sprinkle your love. Much appreciated. xoxo
I try and always remember that our little people learn how to treat people from us… I want my children to know kindness and to treat others with such kindness.
We need to be the rolemodels, that’s our job as moms… as parents.
Great post!
Simply Shaunacey
It’s not always easy might I add! Sometimes, I want to be a real asshole back to people and well, I won’t lie, sometimes I am. But I want to do better for myself, for my son & for those around me. I want my small pebble sized space in this universe to feel like it’s making the impact of a boulder. The more pebbles we join together, will eventually build a mountain! Thank you for your kind words!
Vivianna I’m so proud of you, the woman you’ve become and the mother that you are and the wonderful and caring person that you are that really cares on what’s going on in the world today and are trying to make a difference. Love you for Always and Forever. Aunt Cathy
Nothing like my beautiful, role model of an aunt to take the time to love on my writing & make me blush. You’re part of the reason I am WHO I AM today. <3
I try to shield my children from most of the ignorance on tv and the media but as a black person in America I can’t. When ignorance happens in front of them I answer their questions.
As you should! You do what you can to shelter them but balance is key… I fully understand we can’t keep them in a bubble but we can give them the tools to manage the hurt, anger, emotions that come from the ignorance they will face in the real world. The tools to help other kids too. I am white & my brother is black… I didn’t realize we were “sheltered” until we were riding together on the bus one day & another student asked why we were different colors. I honestly had no idea because it was just NORMAL to me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I am your new biggest fan. Everything I’ve read from you is spot on! Helping our little people navigate the big world of information and judgement and hate is HARD work but if we all “mommy-up” we surely can make a difference for -all. the. kids-
I think you’re my FIRST fan, that I know of. So, two of us makes a club now 😉
If we stick together, we can make a HUGE difference. <3
Great post. I’m just gonna be completely honest and say I was a little worried by the title cause I believe sheltering my kids from ignorance can also be a disservice. But you won me over the more I read. It truly is a balance. Not keeping them in a bubble, but also allowing them to see the world as it is, while also emphasizing the importance of giving love and light and kindness despite the uglyiness that exists around us.
I’m just gunna be completely honest and say I was a little afraid to keep reading after “I was a little worried…” haha
I haven’t been attacked by any negative comments on my so-very-public platform yet so, I’m almost bracing myself 😉
You have no idea how much I appreciate your honesty though. Even if it had been critical… I still would’ve welcomed you to challenge a healthy disagreement & I always want people to feel welcome to do that here. Balance is key. xoxo
Thank you for this. We try so hard to teach our girls kindness in an unkind world, and I feel very blessed that my oldest’s school has such a strong belief in the very same thing. If we as parents aren’t taking the responsibility, we leave our children to be victims of other people’s smallmindedness.
Absolutely! I’m so glad you’ve found a school that really connects with your lifestyle, too. Protecting your “community” is so important as well.
A-freaking-men. I feel like a broken record, but for me it all goes back to love. Love God, love yourself, love others. Everything that is done in real, true love, is done well. That is the biggest thing that I want my girls to learn from me – that no matter who or what they encounter in life, they always have the choice to act in love – and if they do, it will always be the right thing.
Showing them how beautiful life can be if they make that choice is such a gift. You give what you get. I believe I attract beautiful, like-minded, kind individuals like you into my life because that’s what I try my best to give… xoxo
Without other strong women in my life, I’d be so alone. Well written, mum!
It’s funny, just today I was thinking about how I treat employees (at the stores we visit) nicely. I treat them kindly and I always say, “Thank you”. My kids see that every time we go out, and I just realized, today, that I do this. I am unkind and rude in so many ways everyday- mostly to myself. But I saw a little glimmer of beauty and gentleness in myself today. That gives me hope that I can do that for other moms, too!!
Thank goodness for all the mums that uplift eachother – I too, would be so alone. Accountability goes for the good & less than perfect actions… You deserve to hear where & when you’re doing a great job. The supermarket cashier must love seeing you walk up to his or her register & that’s worth being proud of. And…on the other hand, I want women around me who can call my bluff. Tell me when I’ve screwed up, suggest ways I could have done or said something better when if all short. I expect grace in those moments and we can all grow…together to work on defining LOVE. Thanks for popping by mama!
I could not agree more. I feel that my biggest responsibility as a mother is to impart a heart for compassion and generosity to my children. When I feel discouraged by the state of humanity, I find solace in knowing that there are so many parents out there working hard to raise a generation who will live with understanding, acceptance, and most of all, love for others. Thank you for sharing such an important and timely message!
I’m so glad there are so many mamas who don’t feel the world is “screwed” or think no matter what they do, once their kids are on their own they will just follow suit in whatever the world is doing… You are doing such a great job to contribute to a beautiful place we have here <3
I loved this is in so many ways! This is exactly where I’m at too! Thanks for writing this, mama. XOXO
Thanks for reading this! It is so comforting to know I am not alone. xoxo